Big Dogs Need Hugs Too

My Father has the most interesting skill of saying things in a way you will remember. For most of our adult life, my wife Nona and I have lived far away from our parents. This meant that when we did get together, every moment counted. There would be great times of intense dialogue. Dad would often watch, listen, then make his point- with a zinger.

As the children grew, they really grew- especially the boys. Kelli was a normal, cute, little blondie. Mark and Drew must have gotten all my large genes- there were none left for me. As they grew, Dad came up with one of his home-spun proverbs:

"Big Dogs Need Hugs Too"

Here's what I think he was getting at-- small puppies are cute and easy to love on. As they get older and bigger it's easy to forget their need for physical affection and affirmation, especially as they get much larger than you.

Nancy Devlin, Ph.D., a practicing child psychologist, put it this way. "It is unwise to assume that children are secure in the knowledge that you love them. Parents who make such assumptions are in danger of being totally overwhelmed when in later years their child says, "I never knew how much you cared. You never told me. All of those years growing up, I felt you did not love me." Or, even worse, "I never felt loved." Children need to experience affection directly. They cannot guess at your motives – that is too abstract a concept."

I can't even count how many times I would be greeting the boys at the door, or sending them back to school, and that simple thought would echo in my mind. Big dogs, hugs, go give them a hug.

I can't honestly say if it made a difference or not, only time and eternity will tell. But I'm so very thankful for a father that took the time to share his insights, and for the many opportunities to put his zingers to good use.

1Thes 4:9-10
9 Now about brotherly love we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other.
10 And in fact, you do love all the brothers throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you, brothers, to do so more and more. (NIV)