Am I Humble?

Proverbs 27:21

The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold,

and a man is tested by his praise.

About fifteen years ago I went through a strange time. Over the course of several months I repeatedly heard a particular compliment, "You are a very humble person." I remember how awkward it made me feel. I tried not to smile and tried to make some appropriately humble response . I immediately thought, "They really don't know me that well." or "I must be putting on a good front." I really didn't take it seriously at first. I actually thought that I must be getting good at "acting humble", never really seriously accepting the compliment, just deflecting it in a variety of ways.

After a while an odd thing started to happen- I started believing it. I actually began to think that I was more humble than those around me.

I Corinthians 10:12 Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.

After going through this experience, I have some strong advice. Don't EVER tell someone you think they are humble. There are wonderful compliments you can pay someone, but that is not one of them. 

It's a curse wrapped in a compliment.

I suppose a truly humble person would never be bothered by it, but how can you ever know how someone will respond. It's hard to tell when someone is truly humble. But I believe I knew one: Walter Steitz. Many years ago I worked under this unusual and profoundly humble person. 

Others all agreed. No one had ever known someone as humble as Walt. One time at a retreat he was leading us in prayer and bible study. We talked about it during the break. Everyone admitted they felt the same as I did- strangely aware of our pride when they spent time with Walt.

I must be quick to say he also was one of the kindest and most gentle men I ever knew. Quick to laugh and tell a good story, and strong when handling problems. In other words he was no monkish character, but full of love and life. Walter collapsed suddenly in 2004 during a morning jog and was called home to be with the Lord.

I know that those friends of mine who commended me for my humility where no doubt expressing their love and appreciation for me, or trying to encourage me. I don't mean to criticize their thoughtfulness. But In recent years I've been increasingly aware of pride rearing it's ugly head in my life. I see it often. I see it behind struggles, fears, anger, and frustration. I'm pretty excited about that. I think I am growing, seeing things more clearly, making progress.

There is nothing so natural as pride 

"There is nothing so natural to man, nothing so insidious and hidden from our sight, nothing so difficult and dangerous, as pride." - Andrew Murray in Humility

Am I humble, or proud?

1. Do I often feel I don’t get the credit I deserve?
2. In social situations do I tend to talk about myself?
3. Does it seem that others don’t recognize my gifts and abilities?
4. Do I secretly feel I am better than others?
5. Do I sometimes feel like the Lord hasn’t dealt with me fairly?

James 4:6

But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.