"Well, I hate to say this but..."

Several years ago I had the opportunity to sit for 20 minutes with a well-known Christian counselor. We were on the way back from a Christian conference up in the mountains- now coming down the hill in a in an air-conditioned bus. The counselor was seated in the very back seat, actually the entire back row where he had his briefcase open and a stack of files spread all over the place. He had been speaking to us at the conference and I really enjoyed and appreciated what he had to say. The opportunity was given for anyone who wanted a short visit with him to set up an appointment. The only time left for me was on the way down the hill. He started by asking me if there is anything in particular I wanted to talk about.

At this point let me press pause and say I do have some questions about doctor/ patient confidentiality. In this case I'm the patient, it's my life, and I suppose I can talk about it. I don't want to accidentally reflect negatively on him, so I won't use his name.

Anyway, back to the story. Was there anything I wanted to talk about? "Well yes, I just recently broken up with my fiance." "You're doing okay?" "Yes, pretty well." "Fine, move on." At this point I thought the counseling session was going pretty well. He was already helping me with one of my problems. But I probably had about 15 minutes left in the appointment. Then he asked a second question "is there anything else you would like to talk about?"

I don't recall verbatim what I said, but I know it was a long, rambling, complex dissertation about wanting to be exceptional, to do something meaningful with my life, to live up to my own expectations, and to never be "mediocre". I must've stumped him at this point, because he began to shift through his papers and the various tests that I had taken. He was looking at graphs and charts, stroking his chin, obviously deep in thought. I'm waiting for his response. And finally here it comes, "Well I hate to say this, but you ARE mediocre."

On he talked for a while after that, but I really don't remember much of what he said. I was struggling with this label that had just been given me -- "mediocre". I was wondering what came out in the charts and graphs and tests that brought him to this conclusion. I was debating in my mind issues like "He really doesn't know me that well." I was thinking about my so-called "resume", my grades in school, what my parents and friends' parents had thought of me. Recalling the words of encouragement I'd heard growing up. I was remembering my mother saying "There's nothing you can't accomplish, if you set your mind to it" and my grandfather's comments were echoing in my mind, "He'll make his mark".

That wasn't the end of our conversation however, the counselor went on to encourage me in a rather unique way. I remember him asking me, "You understand the Spirit filled life, don't you? To which I replied, "yes". "And you know what it means to walk in the power of the Spirit?"-- "yes I do." This rather brash counselor left me with this thought... Don't worry about being exceptional, focus on being filled with the Spirit and walking in the power of the Spirit.

It's been over 30 years since that conversation occurred, and every day it dawns on me more and more just how wise that man really was.

So what do you think of all this? When I tell this story to my friends and co-workers they usually respond sympathetically, which I appreciate. And they try to encourage me, also appreciated. But maybe they are missing the point.

What do you think about the advice I received that day? Was it helpful or harmful? Was he sending me down the right path or not? I'd really like to know what you think.