How Good are Your Family Goals?

How easy it is to neglect goal-setting in our family life- especially in the spiritual area.  We set financial goals, scholastic goals, even weight goals.  But how easy it is to neglect spiritual goals.

Four questions often come to mind...

1.       Is it appropriate to set goals in the spiritual area of life?

 

When Jesus challenged his disciples to "count the cost", He encouraged careful planning…

Lk 14:28-32

"For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30  saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ 31  Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace."

Proverbs 15:22 Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.

We could ask, "Does cause and effect work in the spiritual area of life?"  Charles Finney, the famous American evangelist in the mid- 19th century, asserted that "just as God has built cause and effect into the natural world, it also exists in the spiritual world, and possibly even more reliably." We often call this principal "sowing and reaping".

2 Co 9:6 Now this I say, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.

Careful planning and prayer often lead us to take further actions that help ensure the final goal we are shooting for.  When we set spiritual goals for our family those goals become targets for our faith and obedience.  "Failing to plan is planning to fail" applies in all areas of life, especially the spiritual areas.

2.       How can we set spiritual goals for others (children, spouse, and family)?

Obviously, you have a greater capacity to control goals for yourself than for others. But doesn't a goal basically become a prayer request for them, when mixed with faith.  As we set goals for family members it often prompts us to create an environment that will foster growth.  If our goal is that they are well-versed in Scripture, we are more likely to emphasize Scripture reading and Scripture memory in our everyday lives.  The same is true for worship, prayer, giving, servanthood, etc.

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go;

even when he is old he will not depart from it.

3.       What types of goals might be appropriate in the spiritual realm?

The best goals in the Christian life are those related to our overall growth in Christ.  They would involve character as well as spiritual practices and activities.

You may have heard the term "Profile of a Disciple".  What would a person in their age and stage of life look like when they are fully discipled?  For instance, what would a fully discipled junior high, high school, college, young adult, married with family, middle aged, or senior look like.  It would look different at various ages and stages.  As we consider these profiles we will get insights for worthy goals for development and growth.

A good profile will be realistic.  We are not talking about sinless perfection, but realistic discipleship and its outcomes.  It will also address a variety of life issues, not only the typical spiritual ones.  How a teenage boy handles his sexuality is a strong indicator of his walk with Christ; the same for how a middle-aged man handles his finances.

Family values also play a big part in creating a "profile".  If "reconciling our differences with others" is a huge value in our family, then certainly as the children mature, you want to see evidence that they are "getting it".  Are they taking meaningful steps to forgive one another that is appropriate for their age?  What will be the evidence of this trait emerging?  What will we be looking for?

4.        Can we set a goal like, "that my brother will come to Christ"?

Some people really struggle with this question.  It may feel a bit presumptuous to set a goal like this.  Before we discard it, consider the many passages that demonstrate God's heart for the lost:

Matthew 18:14 "So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish." 

II Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.

I Timothy 2:3 This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

It is entirely appropriate and necessary for godly parents to pray and plan towards their little ones coming to faith.  Likewise, we want to be diligent to pray for brothers, sisters, parents, and extended family members.

In conclusion, resist the temptation toward foggy thinking when it comes to setting goals for the spiritual development of your family.  Be much in prayer, discuss and dream about what you would like yourself and others to look like several years from now.  Establish some short-term goals which will help you create an environment for growth in these areas.  Set the pace for your family with your own love and devotion for Christ and expect great things down the road.

Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,