Where Do I Belong?

 

At our birth, we join a family. We are part of a social group, and totally dependent on it.   Our parents take care of our every need. As we grow, we branch out and make friends.  Many find a mate and start a family of their own.  We all live in the context of the relationships we develop. There are extremely few hermits in this world. We leave this world much as we entered it. Once again, dependent on friends and family. They gather around to say their goodbyes. 

From birth to death, we are constantly aware of this primal question, "Where do I belong?"

This need for a sense of belonging is universal.  Throughout history and across cultures, humans have typically lived in various size social groupings. Smaller ones such as immediate family, close friends, and colleagues may make up a person's inner circle. Research and studies on social relationships suggest that a common size for a person's inner circle typically ranges from about 5 to 15 individuals. Larger groupings like communities, tribes, or neighborhoods may extend to around 150 individuals. Beyond this number, maintaining stable social relationships becomes more challenging.

So, it's natural to ask, "Where do I belong?" 

Our inner circle plays a crucial role in providing emotional support, companionship, and a sense of belonging. These are the people with whom we share our joys and sorrows, seek advice and comfort, and rely on for emotional support.

But it is not always easy to fit in.  Each of us is unique.  We are aware that we are somewhat different from those around us.  This God-given uniqueness helps our self-image. But it can also put distance in our relationships.  Who has not gone to a social gathering only to feel awkward and out of place?  Occasionally we will feel like outcasts.  And these feelings can be very real.

Even in our nuclear family we may feel out of place.  We would expect our parents, brothers and sisters, children and grandchildren to accept us and love us unconditionally.  But unfortunately, this is not always the case. Many families are dysfunctional.  They may be guided by rules and regulations that cause legalism.  Sometimes disagreements cannot be resolved, and they fester.   Other times tragedy may cause a fracture.

So many look outside the home to find a place to fit in… friends at school or work, clubs and sports teams, even extra-marital affairs.  Some places provide healthy connections, others not so much.  Many teens (and adults) are led astray by the drive to fit in, and they "get in with the wrong crowd".

And despite extended family and friends many still struggle with loneliness.

Since sin has entered the picture, we are alienated from God and one another. As a result, we may often feel a sense of cosmic loneliness.  If we think too hard about these things it can lead to deep questions about meaning, purpose, and connection. These reflections can cause a profound sense of loneliness.  And that loneliness is very real. 

Fortunately, God has a solution for this isolation we feel.  Through Christ our sin is dealt with on the Cross.  There is now no condemnation for those in Christ.  Our alienation from God is taken away and a new intimate relationship is established.  For the first time we have a true sense of belonging because…

 

1. Christ is always with us.  We are never truly alone.  The Holy Spirit, the third person of The Trinity makes His home in us.  We experience the fellowship of the Spirit.  He is our comforter.

“I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you. “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. “After a little while the world will no longer see Me, but you will see Me; because I live, you will live also. “In that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you. “He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” (Jn 14:16-21)

 

2. We become God's children and are adopted into His family.  We have a heavenly Father.  Christ calls us brothers.

For it was fitting for Him, for whom are all things, and through whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory, to perfect the author of their salvation through sufferings. For both He who sanctifies and those who are sanctified are all from one Father; for which reason He is not ashamed to call them brethren, (He 2:10-11)

 

3. We know true fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ.  We are a part of the Body of Christ, the Church.  We fit uniquely into the building called the Church and are a significant building block in it.

And coming to Him as to a living stone which has been rejected by men, but is choice and precious in the sight of God, you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. (1 Pet 2:4-5)

But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God’s OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were NOT A PEOPLE, but now you are THE PEOPLE OF GOD; you had NOT RECEIVED MERCY, but now you have RECEIVED MERCY. (1 Pet 2:9-10)

If you know Christ, you are not alone.  If you are active in a Christ-centered Church where His Word is preached, you are part of His forever family.  If you do not have a church home, don't wait to be invited.  Visit one this week.  You may be surprised by what you find.

And as you grow in Christ you may discover a new capacity for friendships, as I have found.  And when you realize God's love and forgiveness you find a new ability to love and forgive others, as I have. 

New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update (La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation, 1995).